Just a cold november day

that's how i see november

Today i woke up to the arguing and yelling of my mother and my brother,
so i can't say that i had a particularly pleasant morning.
But then, we are the most chaotic and weird family
on earth and the sooner we start yelling, the sooner we make peace,
and i'm kinda used to it.
But this morning was "saved"by a hot cup of coffee and by my discovering of
a new, amazing song.
I must confess that i used to associate the name "Pete Doherty" more
with Kate Moss than with music,
which was such bullshit.
I found this song, "Delivery" , that just...made my morning.
I simply love it. Good job, Pete.
Meanwhile, it's november. The month i hate the most.
The november light is too sharp and brutal, it makes things appear much too clearly.
Just like neon light.
And believe me, sometimes the blurrier, the better.

Listening: Delivery by Babyshambles

Reading: Last night of love, first night of war by Camil Petrescu

Watching: That 70s show

reading old tolstoy

so i'm halfway through War and Peace and
to my pleasant surprise,
i really enjoy it.

it is a surprise given the fact that historical novels
usually bore the hell out of me.

well, it's only historical, though a large part of it
presents the Napoleonic wars against Russia.
I don't know why i like it so much;
it may be because of the way Tolstoy portrays the
characters, meticulous and slightly ironic.

anyways, to be honest, i started reading it because i thought that
there were only 2 volumes; it turned out there were 4.
halfway through the first book,
i was sure that i won't even start the second, but
here i am, reading out of the third.

getting through with this book will be quite the accomplishment for me,
it will show that some things that i start-i can finish.

listening: cancao do mar by dulce pontes
reading: war and peace (volume 3 of 4) by lev tolstoy
watching: my name is khan (karan johar)

A moment in life

I know you've heard this a zillion times,
but what makes life really special are
those short moments, when you feel
God is smiling down upon you.
Like sitting in MacDonalds and eating by yourself, because you had
a shitty day and
suddenly hearing an obscure, amazing song on the radio,
a song you absolutely love and haven't heard in a while.

Listening: Love will come through by Travis
Reading: War and Peace (Volume 2 of 4) by Lev Tolsoi
Watching Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (Shane Black)

October

Can somebody please tell me why it's so fucking cold?
Even my blood freezes when i get out of the house.
It's the middle of October, it should be the time
when i get all excited about leaves turning golden
and the light rains that fall upon the city.
Instead, i spend my mornings cursing
and my evenings under a fine layer
of blankets.
The fact that the heating is not working isn't helping either.
Since I'm bitching about the weather, it seems that not much
is going on in my life right now.
That's true.
Apart from the occasional "get-drunk-get-hangovers" weekends,
my life's been a smooth rutine.
And i'm not complaining.

Listening: October Song by Amy Winehouse
Reading: Ion by Liviu Rebreanu (unwillingly)
Watching: Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (Guy Ritchie)

about faith

these days i suddenly realized what "losing your faith in God" means.
not the serious way, like having a close someone fatally sick or having bad luck for weeks in a row,
but more like every day stuff, like praying.
when i was little, i used to pray every night. i would never go to sleep without those magic "Our Father who art in heaven.." words, because i believed that if i didn't say them, bad dreams would come along.
back then, i really believed in what i said, i could even picture an old wise man sitting on a cloud and
looking down on me proud.
i still pray, but now it's more like a habit. i say the words without even processing them,
and when i lay my head on the pillow, i can't even remember if i did or didn't pray.
even my beliefs changed.
i still think that something greater than us is out there, but the image of Heaven's
clouds and angels and halos somehow slowly faded away.
"i'll rot in hell" changed into "i'll rot in jail".
and when you think about it, it's a bit sad
because the world has to be a bit more
than an atom that one day decided to burst, right?

i've been listening to Use Somebody by Kings of Leon

i've been reading War and Peace by Lev Tolstoy

i've been watching Grey's Anatomy

Daily stuff # 3

I've been arguing with my mom so often these days that

I don't even know what's been causing these fights.

We barely talk, and when we do, it gets bad.

It's like Cold War in here.

I don't know what to do, since I'm not really a pro at apologizing, and, after all,

I don't know for sure it's entirely my fault.

Partially, yes, I'm the one to blame, with my coming home drunk and

missing for days behavior, but maybe she's got other problems on her

back as well.

I hope it'll be just like before, but I'm not ready to make a move towards that direction.

After all, I'm young.

That pretty much sums it all.

I've been listening to Hold On by Rusko

I've been reading The Kreutzer Sonata by Lev Tolstoy

I've been watching Snatch (Guy Ritchie) [again].

Daily stuff # 2

After all, I'm not going away. At least not these days.Something out of my comprehension, like passport trouble..

Not sure if I'm happy or sad about it.

Anyway, lately, one of my freinds has been constantly trying to cross over the border between

friends and.. more than friends.

Not sure about that neither.

Days have been passing slowly, waking up at 3 P.M and going to sleep at 4 a.m

and doing absolutely

nothing.

It's a rainy July but i'm sure sun will shine these days.

With love,

Pierrot

I've been listening to 11:59 by Blondie

I've been reading Tale of the Antichrist by Vladimir Solovyov

I've been watching Battle Royale (Kinji Fukasaku)

Post-Party Playlist

Here's a selection of songs that are usually put on repeat on my player after a wild night out (or in).

Home for a rest by Spirit of the West

My choice needs no explanation.

Leave before the lights come on by Arctic Monkeys

For all those mornings you woke up next to a dude (or a chick) and couldn't remember how the heck you ended there.

I'm an alcoholic by NOFX

Something to remind me that others have it worse.

Breath by Breaking Benjamin

Every guy you've hooked with without having any serious intentions (of which he wasn't aware) should dedicate you this song.

Criminal by Fiona Apple

For the boyfriend you left at home.

Dear Mama by Blaxy Girls

Because mom wasn't sleeping when I tried to sneak back in.

Everybody's changing by Keane

My very personal "chilling" song.

Elegantly Wasted by INXS

The promise of another sleepless night..

Daily stuff.

I've been listening to

Please Don't Stop The Rain by James Morrisson

I've been reading

The Awakening by Kate Chopin

I've been watching

Snatch (Guy Richie)

Lately, life's been all about parties, booze, boys and fun.

I'm kinda tired and almost happy about the perspective of spending a month at the countryside, far from all the city's temptations.

With love,

Pierrot

Off topic

From today on, I'll be posting songs that I've been listening to, that I took a sudden liking to, that have a special meaning at the moment or just songs that are obessively playing in my head.
Same goes with books or movies.
SO this is no longer a poetry blog that no one reads, it's a POETRY and PERSONAL blog that no one reads.
Also, I'll probably be posting some of the events in my life.
Well...yeah.That's all.

stray

keep it close to your heart,
this feeling that slips away
hold it in your ribcage
don't let yourself go stray

she knows all that you'd do
she knows and doesn't tell
your actions cause her wounds
your heaven is her hell

but look how still she stays
and looks into your eyes
she's willing to accept,
forget and compromise

but one day she'll get sick
of all the shit you do
that day she'll disappear
forgetting about you

at first you'll be confused
but then you'll realize
she's the air in your lungs
she's the light of your eyes

but it will be too late
she'd already be gone
and you'll sincerely regret
all the shit you've done

so be good now,be good
before she goes away
don't let yourself be bad
don't let yourself go stray

velvet sea

the clock keeps staring at me
from it's place on the wall
the cellphone begins ringing
and i wonder who would call
just for a second i felt
like i'm no longer cold
just for a second i felt
like it's just me in the world
the snowflakes go on falling
like all these passing years
the snowflakes go on dancing
oh,heaven's frozen tears
for a second i felt peaceful
like i was no longer gonna crack
but then i closed my eyes
and all the pain was back
so this night i'm gonna
sit right here
stare outside the window
ignore my own tears
how's it even possible
to hurt this bad?
how can i erase the pain
from my head?
for a second i though
that maybe it's not real
but the agony is here,
i can no longer heal.
the night is really close:
it's calling out to me
tonight i'll drown in that

dark and soft velvet sea.

all for the best

for all those boys who had their hearts broken by girls with good intentions.

i think i saw you
shedding a tear
and probably this is not
something you wanted to hear
but you'll see,the tears will dry fast
believe me, darling
it's all for the best

i've been here before
but this time is hard
knowing i'm breaking
someone's heart

i'm not so good
i'm rather cruel
but i'm not
taking you for a fool

you're a gentle boy
you seem to be of made glass
but believe me darling
the pain will pass

i know you're hurt
and your head is a mess
but believe me boy
it's all for the best

jasmine tree

under the dark blue sky
that summer brought along
grows a jasmine tree,
it's smell so sweet and strong

two lovers, hand in hand,
think that from above
God sent down, for last time,
the stunning scent of Love.

they breathe in baneful air
as lips with lips collide
as their heartbeats slow down,
as they melt into night