Just a cold november day

that's how i see november

Today i woke up to the arguing and yelling of my mother and my brother,
so i can't say that i had a particularly pleasant morning.
But then, we are the most chaotic and weird family
on earth and the sooner we start yelling, the sooner we make peace,
and i'm kinda used to it.
But this morning was "saved"by a hot cup of coffee and by my discovering of
a new, amazing song.
I must confess that i used to associate the name "Pete Doherty" more
with Kate Moss than with music,
which was such bullshit.
I found this song, "Delivery" , that just...made my morning.
I simply love it. Good job, Pete.
Meanwhile, it's november. The month i hate the most.
The november light is too sharp and brutal, it makes things appear much too clearly.
Just like neon light.
And believe me, sometimes the blurrier, the better.

Listening: Delivery by Babyshambles

Reading: Last night of love, first night of war by Camil Petrescu

Watching: That 70s show

reading old tolstoy

so i'm halfway through War and Peace and
to my pleasant surprise,
i really enjoy it.

it is a surprise given the fact that historical novels
usually bore the hell out of me.

well, it's only historical, though a large part of it
presents the Napoleonic wars against Russia.
I don't know why i like it so much;
it may be because of the way Tolstoy portrays the
characters, meticulous and slightly ironic.

anyways, to be honest, i started reading it because i thought that
there were only 2 volumes; it turned out there were 4.
halfway through the first book,
i was sure that i won't even start the second, but
here i am, reading out of the third.

getting through with this book will be quite the accomplishment for me,
it will show that some things that i start-i can finish.

listening: cancao do mar by dulce pontes
reading: war and peace (volume 3 of 4) by lev tolstoy
watching: my name is khan (karan johar)

A moment in life

I know you've heard this a zillion times,
but what makes life really special are
those short moments, when you feel
God is smiling down upon you.
Like sitting in MacDonalds and eating by yourself, because you had
a shitty day and
suddenly hearing an obscure, amazing song on the radio,
a song you absolutely love and haven't heard in a while.

Listening: Love will come through by Travis
Reading: War and Peace (Volume 2 of 4) by Lev Tolsoi
Watching Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (Shane Black)

October

Can somebody please tell me why it's so fucking cold?
Even my blood freezes when i get out of the house.
It's the middle of October, it should be the time
when i get all excited about leaves turning golden
and the light rains that fall upon the city.
Instead, i spend my mornings cursing
and my evenings under a fine layer
of blankets.
The fact that the heating is not working isn't helping either.
Since I'm bitching about the weather, it seems that not much
is going on in my life right now.
That's true.
Apart from the occasional "get-drunk-get-hangovers" weekends,
my life's been a smooth rutine.
And i'm not complaining.

Listening: October Song by Amy Winehouse
Reading: Ion by Liviu Rebreanu (unwillingly)
Watching: Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (Guy Ritchie)

about faith

these days i suddenly realized what "losing your faith in God" means.
not the serious way, like having a close someone fatally sick or having bad luck for weeks in a row,
but more like every day stuff, like praying.
when i was little, i used to pray every night. i would never go to sleep without those magic "Our Father who art in heaven.." words, because i believed that if i didn't say them, bad dreams would come along.
back then, i really believed in what i said, i could even picture an old wise man sitting on a cloud and
looking down on me proud.
i still pray, but now it's more like a habit. i say the words without even processing them,
and when i lay my head on the pillow, i can't even remember if i did or didn't pray.
even my beliefs changed.
i still think that something greater than us is out there, but the image of Heaven's
clouds and angels and halos somehow slowly faded away.
"i'll rot in hell" changed into "i'll rot in jail".
and when you think about it, it's a bit sad
because the world has to be a bit more
than an atom that one day decided to burst, right?

i've been listening to Use Somebody by Kings of Leon

i've been reading War and Peace by Lev Tolstoy

i've been watching Grey's Anatomy

Daily stuff # 3

I've been arguing with my mom so often these days that

I don't even know what's been causing these fights.

We barely talk, and when we do, it gets bad.

It's like Cold War in here.

I don't know what to do, since I'm not really a pro at apologizing, and, after all,

I don't know for sure it's entirely my fault.

Partially, yes, I'm the one to blame, with my coming home drunk and

missing for days behavior, but maybe she's got other problems on her

back as well.

I hope it'll be just like before, but I'm not ready to make a move towards that direction.

After all, I'm young.

That pretty much sums it all.

I've been listening to Hold On by Rusko

I've been reading The Kreutzer Sonata by Lev Tolstoy

I've been watching Snatch (Guy Ritchie) [again].

Daily stuff # 2

After all, I'm not going away. At least not these days.Something out of my comprehension, like passport trouble..

Not sure if I'm happy or sad about it.

Anyway, lately, one of my freinds has been constantly trying to cross over the border between

friends and.. more than friends.

Not sure about that neither.

Days have been passing slowly, waking up at 3 P.M and going to sleep at 4 a.m

and doing absolutely

nothing.

It's a rainy July but i'm sure sun will shine these days.

With love,

Pierrot

I've been listening to 11:59 by Blondie

I've been reading Tale of the Antichrist by Vladimir Solovyov

I've been watching Battle Royale (Kinji Fukasaku)